Wedding etiquette?

[Waterbuck2008]

Yep, definitely a camera in the Men's Room.

 

[mark-hunter]

in early October I will be best man in a wedding, I have invited a date and am wondering if it’s appropriate to offer her money for wedding attire?

No woman is ever ofended if a man buys her a dress.
If you have a long term quality relationtiop with that lady, by all means, buy her a dress.

There are two ways of doing this:

1. Perfect man scenario:
Surprise her.
You know what she likes. You know her size. You know her style.
Buy her a perfect dress and surpirse her.
Drop a piece of jewelery on top.

2. Less then perfect man scenario:
You dont know what she likes. You dont know her size. You dont know her style. You have no idea about fashion.

Then, take her to the shop, let her do the shopping spree, pay for it, pass your credit card, and look happy when paying the bill.
Taking her to dinner after shopping woud be perfect gesture for the day.

IMPORTANT: Do not offer her the money. Get involved in process. Remember, you care.

 

[Waterbuck2008]

Great advice, Mark. Although his taking the girlfriend's friend to this wedding is where the more strategic problems arise.

 

[BourbonTrail]

Just tell your gf you are willing to chip in because of the inconvenience to her friend, and then let her handle it.

This is above any man’s pay grade.

 

[mark-hunter]

Hahaha, good point!

 

[Tbitty]

Given the situation where it is a friend of a friend, I think others here have said it well. If she is not excited or intent on going, you may be able to venture out solo instead. However, it is important that she (and your girlfriend) understand you're not bailing or trying to make an excuse to go alone.. slippery slope I wouldn't try to climb unless I knew she was only going "just because" and would like to have an out.

Assuming she is going, I think it would be a nice gesture to offer to get her a dress. See if she already has something picked out (or purchased). If so, and you wish to get her something, shoes, jewelry, or corsage are nice options... if not, perhaps your girlfriend would like to go shopping with her (save yourself that trip!) or you can go with her to pick something out. Lots of options.

Long answer short, I think it's entirely up to you to offer or not. I don't see a problem with it either way.

 

[Tbitty]

Just tell your gf you are willing to chip in because of the inconvenience to her friend, and then let her handle it.

This is above any man’s pay grade.

Nevermind my previous post. @BourbonTrail has it much better nailed.

 

[Hunter4752001]

I was going to suggest forgetting the dress and buying her a wedding appropriate shotgun instead.

On a more serious note, social mores and etiquette vary so much depending on local culture, demographics etc that an international forum like this is probably the last place to ask for advice.

If you're a male of the XY chromosome variety, you probably totally oblivious to dress sizes, styles, fashions and etiquette. Accept that whatever you do, it will be the wrong thing.

 

[Tubby’s Canteen]

On a more serious note, social mores and etiquette vary so much depending on local culture, demographics etc that an international forum like this is probably the last place to ask for advice.

I wouldn’t be too sure of that, this particular forum seems to be one of the last refuges for Sensible well adjusted men. Ex. 1 a younger man namely me can still feel comfortable asking a question such as this knowing that while there may be a difference of opinion it would not result in ridicule or insults. I’d wager not many forums can say the same.

 

[LivingTheDream]

Good evening gentlemen, I have a conundrum and was hoping so of you gentleman could share some wisdom.

in early October I will be best man in a wedding, I have invited a date and am wondering if it’s appropriate to offer her money for wedding attire? It would be done with the best of intentions but the way the world is now I’m unsure if it will be interpreted as such.

What I have done is actually go shopping together and make a date out of it. Makes it a little bit more fun and engaging.

 

[LivingTheDream]

Great advice, Mark. Although his taking the girlfriend's friend to this wedding is where the more strategic problems arise.

Nevermind my previous post. Should have read the rest of the thread.

So you are taking your girlfriends friend to a wedding....I dont have that type of risk tolerance to something that dangerous.

 

[BRICKBURN]

......... simply not looking for her to be out of pocket for what’s accentually a favour to me. ...........

It's an expensive affair, so state this case making an offer. She's a friend.

Have fun at the party.

 

[Tubby’s Canteen]

It's an expensive affair, so state this case making an offer. She's a friend.

Have fun at the party.

I very much doubt that but appreciate the sentiment

 

[Bullthrower338]

My experience is things usually go really bad borrowing your girlfriend’s friend for the evening! Typically she will be much more fun than your girlfriend and then there is the booze and then she sees what a cool cat you are talking about guns and hunting all night with your buddies! She says to herself “ my friend is so lucky to have this guy that loves to talk about guns!” She is super turned on by the story of Black Death looking at you like you owe him money she just can’t help herself, you find yourself in a stall in the men’s room! No way in hell is that going to happen! Offer to cover her costs and treat her as your girlfriend hopes you will!

 

[JimP]

I've read through this thread once and I can't remember if it has been mentioned.

Have the GF to shopping with her to pick out a dress and have her offer to pay for it using your CC or cash.

Other than that I think that I would stay as far away from it as I could.

 

[K-man]

I think you are an inclined plane wrapped vertically around a helix....
Just sayin' I think your current girlfriend doesn't want you solo at a party so she has a stand-in set up for you. Women have spies all over, this is a bit more pro-active than finding out later you were a bad boy. I agree you should offer to take your girlfriend and her friend out to a lunch and shopping date and offer to spring $xx toward any dress or accessory they pick out together. You must be on your best behavior at both functions. Good luck - I think it's going to cost you your next double before this is over. Trophy pictures posted here at least!!!

 

[Ravensview]

I agree with the double edged sword, I would fake an illness buy a new gun and go hunting

 

[Wyatt Smith]

I am sort of inexperienced so take this as you will.
Was your date already going to attend the wedding, or is she going as a favor to you?
If it is just a favor, does she already possess the appropriate attire, or does she have to go buy it.
If she does not have it, and has to buy it, I would offer to compensate her for it, as to not inconvenience her financially. Provided it is Okay with her friend, your girlfriend.

 

[Bob Nelson 35Whelen]

My experience is things usually go really bad borrowing your girlfriend’s friend for the evening! Typically she will be much more fun than your girlfriend and then there is the booze and then she sees what a cool cat you are talking about guns and hunting all night with your buddies! She says to herself “ my friend is so lucky to have this guy that loves to talk about guns!” She is super turned on by the story of Black Death looking at you like you owe him money she just can’t help herself, you find yourself in a stall in the men’s room! No way in hell is that going to happen! Offer to cover her costs and treat her as your girlfriend hopes you will!

@Bullthrower338
Young @Skinnersblade is to much the gentleman to put himself in such a position and has to much respect for his girlfriend to allow it to happen.
Bob

 

[Mtn_Infantry]

Does your date know others at the wedding? If not and it were me, I'd go alone instead of feeling like I need to babysit her. If my date was my actual girlfriend that's a different story. Also second the advice in telling your gf you'll give her a few bucks towards a dress if she can't find anything to wear. UNLESS you've never bought your gf a dress or outfit of some sort outside of a holiday. Seems you're opening a can of worms with this entire situation.

Then again what do I know, I chose to spend my money on guns, bourbon, and hunting and it's definitely costed me a few relationships but saved some headaches.