I completely understand your feelings John. We don’t know each other beyond our posts on this site, but I know exactly how you feel. Without too much over sharing, my wife and I struggled for over 10 years starting a family. Multiple miscarriages, doctors, procedures, many dollars, and nothing but heartache. At the same time my family and friends are not even trying and having babies. Watched my wife really struggle to be happy for people who didn’t know we had just had a 5th miscarriage when they handed her their newborn.
I’ve been a Christian since I was 9 and have enough belief to know God has a plan. But I had decided his plan for us sucked and I was very angry for many years. Long story already not short, we finally had a son, then another, then a daughter. With the wisdom of hindsight I can now see lots of reasons things happened in his time and not ours, some of which really didn’t have anything to do with us (my wife has counseled many young women starting down the infertility path).
I am not trying to be preachy, but you seem to be a man of great faith, as told by starting this thread asking for prayers, and I’ll pass along something my uncle told me when I was struggling. He understands your anger, He built us that way. Unfortunately we don’t always know his reasons or his timing, which is hard for men who want to make everything “all right” for those we love.
Don’t know if that helps at all brother, I just saw a lot of my old emotions in your recent posts.
