An elderly bachelor, a parishioner at Blessed Mother's, calls the priest and asks if he can come to the rectory and discuss some funeral arrangements. The priest says "Sure, you can come now". The old man arrives, goes in to the rectory and asks if he can have a funeral mass said for his pet, a dog he had for twenty years. He explains it's been his faithful companion and wanted to repay his love and affection. The priest shakes his head and tells him "Oh, no we can't do that at all. Funeral masses are only for people, family and friends. Maybe that Baptist or Methodist church down the street would accommodate you but definitely not here". The old man begins to walk out and says "Ok Father, I will check with them. Do you think five thousand dollars would be a suitable stipend"? The priest grabs the old man's arm and says "Hold on a minute. You didn't tell me the dog was Catholic:".
