I actually heard this joke on morning radio in Dallas around 1985. Q102 or Z98, I don’t remember. I wonder if it would fly today.
So, a preacher had a young daughter, Mary, and she started to date a young man who rode a motorcycle and wore a leather jacket and this worried the preacher a lot. Justifiably, it turned out, as a few months later Mary’s clothes started to get tight and she was sick in the mornings. Around this time the young man vanished. Putting 2 and 2 together it was obvious what happened. Being a preacher, he was wanting to give the young man a chance to do the right thing so he wrote him a letter.
“Dear John, Are you the one that did the pushin’, left the stain upon the cushion, left your feetprints on the dashboard upside down? Well, since you’ve left my Mary there’s a swellin‘ in her belly. Don’t you think it’s time you came back to town?”
Ol’ John read the letter and with a grin wrote back. “Yes, I’m the one that did the pushing’, left the stain upon the cushion, left my feetprints on the dashboard upside down. But since I left your Venus, there’s a swellin‘ in my penis, don’t you think it’s 50/50 all around?”