Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

[hnterfl]

Relationships are like farting, if you push too hard, things could get messy real fast.

 

[hnterfl]

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

 

[duckman90]

 

[duckman90]

The weekend before Opening day

 

[npm352]

Here's a joke: Obama.

 

[Hogpatrol]

Little johnny is sitting in class and his female teacher is going over arithmetic. She asks the question, If five birds are sitting on a fence and a hunter shoots one, how many remain? Johnny blurts out NONE! The teacher asks how he came up with that answer. He replies once the others hear the shot, they'll all be gone and none will remain. Teacher says, that's not exactly correct but I like the way you think. Johnny says "I want to ask you a question". She says OK. He says there are three women sitting on a park bench with popsicles. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking. Which one is married? Teacher stutters and stammers and finally blurts out "the one that's sucking"?? Johnny says, no, the one wearing a wedding ring but I like the way you think.

 

[Erny]

Full time comedian and part time PH Jaco Strauss after a long day tracking.

 

[Erny]

 

[BRICKBURN]

There are a few guys on here that will feel this one.

 

[BRICKBURN]

 

[hunting4sanity]

"As you go through life, you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut; take advantage of all of them."

 

[Erny]

 

[hunting4sanity]

Not sure how things are in your part of the world, but around here finding 22 ammo is about like finding Sasquatch. And the price when you do ........................ (sigh) the good ol' days.

 

[gizmo]

 

[Kata]

Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
A: Take the words out of his mouth!

 

[Kata]

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

 

[Kata]

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

 

[Kata]

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

 

[Kata]

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

 

[Kata]

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."