Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

Status
Not open for further replies.
What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?

The leech stops sucking you dry after you're dead.
 
Definition of a Lawyer: A person who puts two men into a fight and runs off with their clothes.
 
On vacation in Hawaii, my step- mom, Sandy, called a café to make reservations for 7 p.m. Checking her book, the cheery young hostess said, "I’m sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?"

"That’s fine," Sandy said.

"Okay," the woman confirmed. Then she added, "Just be advised you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table."
 
I’d rather spend ten minutes 
rearranging the dishwasher to 
accommodate something than spend 30 seconds washing it by hand.
 
I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.
 
Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.
 
A sign said, “Do not allow your dog to chase, 
injure, or worry wildlife.” How is a dog going to “worry” wildlife? Run up to a bird: “Hey, I think you’ve got something on your beak. It could be a tumor.”
 
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol
 
My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
 
We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.
 
Q: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
 
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four: one to climb the ladder, one to hold the ladder, one to shake the ladder and one to sue the ladder company.
 
Because I am always telling Mother-in -law jokes my wife accused me of not liking Mother-in-laws. To which I replied to my wife "Ridiculous, I like your mother-in-law more than my own".
 
Some people cause happiness wherever they go... others cause happiness whenever they go.
 
Someone gave me the wrong directions to a massage parlor, and it rubbed me the wrong way.
 
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
 
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Forum statistics

Threads
58,441
Messages
1,257,491
Members
104,254
Latest member
DIRTYHARRYBALLISTICS
 

 

 

Latest posts

Latest profile posts

Badboymelvin wrote on BlueFlyer's profile.
Hey mate,
How are you?
Have really enjoyed reading your thread on the 416WSM... really good stuff!
Hey, I noticed that you were at the SSAA Eagle Park range... where about in Australia are you?
Just asking because l'm based in Geelong and l frequent Eagle Park a bit too.
Next time your down, let me know if you want to catch up and say hi (y)
Take care bud
Russ
Hyde Hunter wrote on MissingAfrica's profile.
may I suggest Intaba Safaris in the East Cape by Port Elizabeth, Eugene is a great guy, 2 of us will be there April 6th to April 14th. he does cull hunts(that's what I am doing) and if you go to his web site he is and offering daily fees of 200.00 and good cull prices. Thanks Jim
Everyone always thinks about the worst thing that can happen, maybe ask yourself what's the best outcome that could happen?
Very inquisitive warthogs
faa538b2-dd82-4f5c-ba13-e50688c53d55.jpeg
c0583067-e4e9-442b-b084-04c7b7651182.jpeg
Big areas means BIG ELAND BULLS!!
d5fd1546-d747-4625-b730-e8f35d4a4fed.jpeg
 
Top