Backyardsniper
AH elite
Ahh...champagne taste and a beer budget. I understand the fact that some things are simply reserved for those that are born into a higher station in life. Private jets, yachts, summer homes, some things are simply beyond the old, work hard and save you your money mind frame. The safari, however, is not one of those things, some safaris..yes, none of us common folk are going to be doing a month long shoot all of the big 5 safari anytime soon. A reasonable trip, killing that once in a lifetime buffalo, getting that Kudu that haunts your dreams, these things can be accomplished with a little bit of elbow grease and some outside the box thinking. I just finished my first safari this June and before the return flight lifted off from Harare I knew I had to figure out a way to get back. I wired the final payment for this hunt and the deposit for my upcoming 2026 hunt within a week of each other. Now the only problem was how to afford this next hunt?! I knew we could do it in the three years we had left but, it was going to be an unpleasant degree of sacrifice, not to mention I still have the shipping and taxidermy to deal with from this hunt when it comes due. I considered several options for side hustles when, by chance, I texted a buddy of mine and told him what I had going and asked him if he had any ideas. It just so happened his cousin had just purchased a bar and was looking for some extra help. I have never been a bartender, but I am VERY familiar with the concept...ha ha. I mean I have spent hours and hours studying their work with only a few feet separating us, so I figured I should be able to do a pretty good job of at least imitating one, right? So quite by accident and due to my impulsive nature the Bwana Bartender was born. A few days of training with my trusty bartending partner Destiny, who I am reasonably sure is responsible for a good majority of our tips because it seems that she has certain attributes that appeal to male patrons of the bar far more than any of mine do, and I was on my way.
So now considering that Destiny has naturally built in features, along with some other modifications that seem to cause money to simply fall from men's wallets and I knew this was not going to be the case for me and if I wanted to garner some extra tips I was going to need a plan. Being a bartender seems to be in large part, playing a character, and since by nature I am already somewhat of a character I figured I would just be myself. I knew it was a calculated risk to expose the true purpose of my job there, as not everyone is warm and fuzzy with the idea of shooting Dumbo in the face, but I thought what the hell. So when people ask why I'm bartending, when did you start here, don't you work at that other place? I just tell them "oh, this is how I pay for my elephants." Now this usually draws a curious line of inquiry from men and women alike, this is where I get to explain conservation and such to some of the patrons and believe it or not people have been generally very accepting of the idea, most of them want to see pictures and ask all manner of questions and once you explain how the whole operation works with the anti poaching, distribution of meat and all the other aspects of conservation most of them become genuinely interested. Now, I will say, I live in Kentucky so the attitude here is a little more accepting of hunting in general, so this particular approach might not have as much success in some of the less enlightened areas of the country. At the moment if things continue on the current trajectory I may in fact have a trophy bull hunt in my future! There are days when it is tough to get up at 06:00 head to your regular job,leave it at 4:00 in the afternoon and drive directly to the bar and change clothes in the bathroom, then sling beer and dirty martinis until 11:00 at night only to go home rinse and repeat, but I just keep picturing those tusks and reminding myself this is the way to the promised land!
So what's the craziest thing you are willing to do/have done for your dream safari?
So now considering that Destiny has naturally built in features, along with some other modifications that seem to cause money to simply fall from men's wallets and I knew this was not going to be the case for me and if I wanted to garner some extra tips I was going to need a plan. Being a bartender seems to be in large part, playing a character, and since by nature I am already somewhat of a character I figured I would just be myself. I knew it was a calculated risk to expose the true purpose of my job there, as not everyone is warm and fuzzy with the idea of shooting Dumbo in the face, but I thought what the hell. So when people ask why I'm bartending, when did you start here, don't you work at that other place? I just tell them "oh, this is how I pay for my elephants." Now this usually draws a curious line of inquiry from men and women alike, this is where I get to explain conservation and such to some of the patrons and believe it or not people have been generally very accepting of the idea, most of them want to see pictures and ask all manner of questions and once you explain how the whole operation works with the anti poaching, distribution of meat and all the other aspects of conservation most of them become genuinely interested. Now, I will say, I live in Kentucky so the attitude here is a little more accepting of hunting in general, so this particular approach might not have as much success in some of the less enlightened areas of the country. At the moment if things continue on the current trajectory I may in fact have a trophy bull hunt in my future! There are days when it is tough to get up at 06:00 head to your regular job,leave it at 4:00 in the afternoon and drive directly to the bar and change clothes in the bathroom, then sling beer and dirty martinis until 11:00 at night only to go home rinse and repeat, but I just keep picturing those tusks and reminding myself this is the way to the promised land!
So what's the craziest thing you are willing to do/have done for your dream safari?
