Rafiki
AH enthusiast
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2023
- Messages
- 478
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- 1,066
- Location
- Florida and Minnesota
- Media
- 7
- Hunted
- Tanzania
Florida: Hog Heaven Preserve
Safari Date: April 16 & 17, 2025
Local Agent: Bob (No known last name)
Location: Somewhere west of Immokalee
PH: Mark (No known last name)
OK, so this ain’t African hunting, or really hunting at all, but it was a hoot!
Our little safari into the edges of the Everglades consisted of Todd, Steve and myself (last names withheld out of an abundance of embarrassment). Arrangements were made by Todd when he, with a bit of luck, stumbled onto the Hog Heaven Preserve.
On April 16th we packed a spare set of underwear (at least I did) and loaded up the “safari vehicle” (Jeep Grand Cherokee) and headed out beyond Immokalee to a flag on Google Maps pointing to absolutely nothing. We were told to wait there at the gate and someone would be along. The road was broad and dusty, not exactly dirt since it was brilliant white, not sure what it was but this is Florida so [shrug]. We went about 20 dusty miles on this passing some occupied and unoccupied squaller, a dead cow and abandoned buildings including an entire prison overgrown with God knows what evasive vegetation.
It was scorching hot and nobody was at the Google flagged location so we got into our supplies and had an icey beer while standing around wondering which of the 5 gates was the right gate. I really didn’t matter since they were all locked so we had to wait, and we had a cold beer anyway. I wish I’d taken a picture of all the locks on the gate; it looked like 10 or so to me.
Bob did show up a relatively short time after Todd called on a weak signal. Bob turned out to be an affable no-nonsense character. We were warned to pay attention to where HIS lock was situated if/when we went out, and to replace it exactly as we found it. I really don’t know why he had this lack of confidence, perhaps the beer had something to do with it. Nonetheless we assigned Steve as the “Master of Locks” as he is the youngest and probably has a better memory.
We drove maybe a mile or two further down that dusty road before turning off to yet another locked gate leading to the Hog Heaven Preserve camp. Our plans were to stay one night, sight in the rifles, go out to dinner, then go for hogs the next day. When we turned the corner on the camps dirt track our home away from home came into view. The camp is actually a rustic cabin that just makes you smile when you see it; just classic. It has a broad porch with wooden rockers and benches surrounded by all manner of junk, nick-nacks, old signs, turkey feet; you name it and it was probably there.
In front of the porch and across the drive is a small pond which desperately needed water. There were two alligators and a bunch of turtles sharing what little water that hadn’t evaporated. Bob warned us that the ‘gators were aggressive and to not get too close but they seem friendly enough as they swam towards us. There were other warnings such as a sow bear with cubs and an onery boar that lurked the woods surrounding the property. Being men we ignored all these warning as soon as Bob left.
The inside of the cabin was adorned with mounts and clutter but it was clean and relatively neat. We had generator powered electricity and the full complement of indoor plumbing but we were warned not to drink the water. That was easy to remember as it stunk heavily of Sulphur. In any case the place was comfortable and cozy. The biggest drawback were the beds. I don’t know about the others but my mattress just wasn’t stuffed with enough straw so I spent a very restless, almost sleepless night. I think Todd had it the worse. He’s 6’4” tall and he was in a bunkbed. The only way to stretch out and try and get comfortable was to stick his feet through the slats at the foot of his bunk.
Bob also told us to lock the door at night because of the bear however the door didn’t lock; there is a screwdriver to stick in the door jamb that served that purpose. I was elected to be in charge of security and issued the screwdriver, I think because I’m the oldest and most responsible, but when the time came I had forgotten all about it.
For the hunt I took my 458 SOCOM AR-15 and Todd brought along his Remington 700 in .243 Win. Steve was to borrow a rifle; that turned out to be a 7mm Win Mag, also a Remington 700. We quickly checked zero and settled back on the porch for a much-needed fortified coke.
Our pre-hunt plans didn’t include food other that a few snacks. We had determined that since we were only staying one night it would be easier to just go out. Immokalee is a small town a mere 25 miles back the way we came. It has a distinctly Mexican flavor so it follows that it would have many restaurants with good Mexican cuisine; Mi Ranchito is one of them. I had discovered this jewel returning from bass fishing in the everglades a few years ago. Mi Ranchito has the coldest Modelo and the biggest best burrito of anyplace that I know of, bar none. These suckers are huge! While Steve and I were able to wolf down our entire burritos (BURP!) Todd ended up gnawing on his for 4 days!
We woke to an absolutely beautiful morning. Mark, our PH, was to meet us about 7:30AM so we had plenty of time for a cup of coffee on the porch and to check the ‘gators. Mark showed up on time and gave us the rundown on the “hunt”. This was to be sort of like the Minnesota deer hunting that I’m used to doing. Todd was to be placed in a ground blind, Steve in a tree stand not far from Todd and I would be in the so called “ambush” stand near the end of the property. There were established shooting lanes so the chances of getting shot, while not nil, were slim. With that we headed out to the property where the pigs were; I’m refraining from calling it “the pig pen”.
The pig herd was in a fenced area of about 10 acres. It is mostly wooded inside the fenced area, primarily palm and palmettoes. There were a few open areas interconnected with trails so it was easy getting around. With the exception of the Ambush stand each of the others are situated overlooking the open areas and each of those had a timed auto-feeder. I was assured that when the action started the hogs would run to the ambush area and I would have my chance; what could go wrong.
According to Todd, promptly at 9:30AM the feeder in front of Todds ground blind “whirred” to life for a few seconds and shortly thereafter the hogs came in (think Pavlova’s dog). The sun was up and there were no bugs so I of course was drifting off. When the first shot rang out I became fully awake and ready for action but no action came my way. A little while later I heard another shot and the adrenaline was coursing through my veins because now, surely, the hogs would be caught in my ambush ….. nothing happened. The adrenaline dissipated and I settled back in the warm morning stupor.
Sometime later, not sure how long, a slight rustling from behind perked me up again. I slowly readied my weapon in anticipation of my soon to be trophy. Five small piglets stepped into view; cute little things. They chased each other and played in the dirt for a while then retreated the same way they came in. It was quiet again until Mark showed up and asked about the ambush. When I told him about the piglets he said that we needed another plan.
The next plan was to go to the other end of the property and set me up in the same stand that Steve had used while Mark circled around in the palmettos to move the hogs around. This worked to some extent as the same five piglets came running by the stand; however, the big swine stayed in the palmettos about 75 yards away. I did take a shot but missed. We needed another plan.
Mark asked if I would like to just shag around in the palmettos and see if we could get a shot. I was all for this since it was about as close to actually hunting that I was going to be able to experience here. So off we went in the little 10-acre concession searching for the wily swine. To be fair these things can be dangerous when they have tusks and are pissed off so it’s good to pay some attention to that possibility Eventually of course we did find the herd and when one separated I shot it and it dropped in its tracks.
At this point we had our quota so we loaded up and headed back to camp. Mark did an outstanding job of cleaning and quartering the critters. Examining the carcasses it became pretty obvious that a 458 SOCOM is a tad too much gun as was the 7mm Win Mag. Todds 243 seemed about right. Mark informed us that they have an approved butcher in Naples named Johnny (again, no known last name) but on looking at what we were to take back it seemed like it would be overkill to take them to a butcher.
In epilogue I have to say that this experience cannot and should not be confused with hunting; however, it is just plain fun. Even though definitely not cost effective, there is the reward of taking home so very fine tasting pork. Shortly after this epic “hunt” we got back together for an awards ceremony & dinner featuring Pulled Pork of course. Todd had some trophies made dubbed the “Golden Sow”. Steve was awarded the “FIRST BLOOD” award, Todd was awarded the “DID I GET IT” award and I was awarded the “DEAD ON ARRIVAL” award.
Safari Date: April 16 & 17, 2025
Local Agent: Bob (No known last name)
Location: Somewhere west of Immokalee
PH: Mark (No known last name)
OK, so this ain’t African hunting, or really hunting at all, but it was a hoot!
Our little safari into the edges of the Everglades consisted of Todd, Steve and myself (last names withheld out of an abundance of embarrassment). Arrangements were made by Todd when he, with a bit of luck, stumbled onto the Hog Heaven Preserve.
On April 16th we packed a spare set of underwear (at least I did) and loaded up the “safari vehicle” (Jeep Grand Cherokee) and headed out beyond Immokalee to a flag on Google Maps pointing to absolutely nothing. We were told to wait there at the gate and someone would be along. The road was broad and dusty, not exactly dirt since it was brilliant white, not sure what it was but this is Florida so [shrug]. We went about 20 dusty miles on this passing some occupied and unoccupied squaller, a dead cow and abandoned buildings including an entire prison overgrown with God knows what evasive vegetation.
It was scorching hot and nobody was at the Google flagged location so we got into our supplies and had an icey beer while standing around wondering which of the 5 gates was the right gate. I really didn’t matter since they were all locked so we had to wait, and we had a cold beer anyway. I wish I’d taken a picture of all the locks on the gate; it looked like 10 or so to me.
Bob did show up a relatively short time after Todd called on a weak signal. Bob turned out to be an affable no-nonsense character. We were warned to pay attention to where HIS lock was situated if/when we went out, and to replace it exactly as we found it. I really don’t know why he had this lack of confidence, perhaps the beer had something to do with it. Nonetheless we assigned Steve as the “Master of Locks” as he is the youngest and probably has a better memory.
We drove maybe a mile or two further down that dusty road before turning off to yet another locked gate leading to the Hog Heaven Preserve camp. Our plans were to stay one night, sight in the rifles, go out to dinner, then go for hogs the next day. When we turned the corner on the camps dirt track our home away from home came into view. The camp is actually a rustic cabin that just makes you smile when you see it; just classic. It has a broad porch with wooden rockers and benches surrounded by all manner of junk, nick-nacks, old signs, turkey feet; you name it and it was probably there.
In front of the porch and across the drive is a small pond which desperately needed water. There were two alligators and a bunch of turtles sharing what little water that hadn’t evaporated. Bob warned us that the ‘gators were aggressive and to not get too close but they seem friendly enough as they swam towards us. There were other warnings such as a sow bear with cubs and an onery boar that lurked the woods surrounding the property. Being men we ignored all these warning as soon as Bob left.
The inside of the cabin was adorned with mounts and clutter but it was clean and relatively neat. We had generator powered electricity and the full complement of indoor plumbing but we were warned not to drink the water. That was easy to remember as it stunk heavily of Sulphur. In any case the place was comfortable and cozy. The biggest drawback were the beds. I don’t know about the others but my mattress just wasn’t stuffed with enough straw so I spent a very restless, almost sleepless night. I think Todd had it the worse. He’s 6’4” tall and he was in a bunkbed. The only way to stretch out and try and get comfortable was to stick his feet through the slats at the foot of his bunk.
Bob also told us to lock the door at night because of the bear however the door didn’t lock; there is a screwdriver to stick in the door jamb that served that purpose. I was elected to be in charge of security and issued the screwdriver, I think because I’m the oldest and most responsible, but when the time came I had forgotten all about it.
For the hunt I took my 458 SOCOM AR-15 and Todd brought along his Remington 700 in .243 Win. Steve was to borrow a rifle; that turned out to be a 7mm Win Mag, also a Remington 700. We quickly checked zero and settled back on the porch for a much-needed fortified coke.
Our pre-hunt plans didn’t include food other that a few snacks. We had determined that since we were only staying one night it would be easier to just go out. Immokalee is a small town a mere 25 miles back the way we came. It has a distinctly Mexican flavor so it follows that it would have many restaurants with good Mexican cuisine; Mi Ranchito is one of them. I had discovered this jewel returning from bass fishing in the everglades a few years ago. Mi Ranchito has the coldest Modelo and the biggest best burrito of anyplace that I know of, bar none. These suckers are huge! While Steve and I were able to wolf down our entire burritos (BURP!) Todd ended up gnawing on his for 4 days!
We woke to an absolutely beautiful morning. Mark, our PH, was to meet us about 7:30AM so we had plenty of time for a cup of coffee on the porch and to check the ‘gators. Mark showed up on time and gave us the rundown on the “hunt”. This was to be sort of like the Minnesota deer hunting that I’m used to doing. Todd was to be placed in a ground blind, Steve in a tree stand not far from Todd and I would be in the so called “ambush” stand near the end of the property. There were established shooting lanes so the chances of getting shot, while not nil, were slim. With that we headed out to the property where the pigs were; I’m refraining from calling it “the pig pen”.
The pig herd was in a fenced area of about 10 acres. It is mostly wooded inside the fenced area, primarily palm and palmettoes. There were a few open areas interconnected with trails so it was easy getting around. With the exception of the Ambush stand each of the others are situated overlooking the open areas and each of those had a timed auto-feeder. I was assured that when the action started the hogs would run to the ambush area and I would have my chance; what could go wrong.
According to Todd, promptly at 9:30AM the feeder in front of Todds ground blind “whirred” to life for a few seconds and shortly thereafter the hogs came in (think Pavlova’s dog). The sun was up and there were no bugs so I of course was drifting off. When the first shot rang out I became fully awake and ready for action but no action came my way. A little while later I heard another shot and the adrenaline was coursing through my veins because now, surely, the hogs would be caught in my ambush ….. nothing happened. The adrenaline dissipated and I settled back in the warm morning stupor.
Sometime later, not sure how long, a slight rustling from behind perked me up again. I slowly readied my weapon in anticipation of my soon to be trophy. Five small piglets stepped into view; cute little things. They chased each other and played in the dirt for a while then retreated the same way they came in. It was quiet again until Mark showed up and asked about the ambush. When I told him about the piglets he said that we needed another plan.
The next plan was to go to the other end of the property and set me up in the same stand that Steve had used while Mark circled around in the palmettos to move the hogs around. This worked to some extent as the same five piglets came running by the stand; however, the big swine stayed in the palmettos about 75 yards away. I did take a shot but missed. We needed another plan.
Mark asked if I would like to just shag around in the palmettos and see if we could get a shot. I was all for this since it was about as close to actually hunting that I was going to be able to experience here. So off we went in the little 10-acre concession searching for the wily swine. To be fair these things can be dangerous when they have tusks and are pissed off so it’s good to pay some attention to that possibility Eventually of course we did find the herd and when one separated I shot it and it dropped in its tracks.
At this point we had our quota so we loaded up and headed back to camp. Mark did an outstanding job of cleaning and quartering the critters. Examining the carcasses it became pretty obvious that a 458 SOCOM is a tad too much gun as was the 7mm Win Mag. Todds 243 seemed about right. Mark informed us that they have an approved butcher in Naples named Johnny (again, no known last name) but on looking at what we were to take back it seemed like it would be overkill to take them to a butcher.
In epilogue I have to say that this experience cannot and should not be confused with hunting; however, it is just plain fun. Even though definitely not cost effective, there is the reward of taking home so very fine tasting pork. Shortly after this epic “hunt” we got back together for an awards ceremony & dinner featuring Pulled Pork of course. Todd had some trophies made dubbed the “Golden Sow”. Steve was awarded the “FIRST BLOOD” award, Todd was awarded the “DID I GET IT” award and I was awarded the “DEAD ON ARRIVAL” award.
Thanks for sharing. Nothing like a boys weekend of smacking hogs and killin beers. Good fun
