Hannes Wessels a legend in his own right.
Hannes Wessels was born in 1956 in Salisbury, Southern Rhodesia (now Harare, Zimbabwe) but grew up in Umtali on the Mozambican border. As a boy, holidays were spent with Game Department rangers; time on safari in Mozambique with the late Wally Johnson was a big influence on him. Wessels also grew to know Robert Ruark whose love of Africa, its people, politics and the written word left a lasting impression. He saw action in the Rhodesian bush war before acquiring a law degree which he chose not to use. He has hunted big game in Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Zambia and Tanzania in a 20-year career. In 1994 he was severely gored by a wounded buffalo which almost cost him his life. While no longer directly involved in hunting, he is part-owner of a lodge and game ranch in Zambia on the Zambezi and remains keenly interested in all matters relating to African wildlife and conservation. He has published Strange Tales from Africa in the USA, a collection of anecdotes from his hunting days. He is also a syndicated writer for Outdoor Life in the United States and is currently writing a history on the Rhodesian SAS. He is married to Mandy and has two daughters, Hope and Jana, and lives in Darling in the Western Cape of South Africa.
There were a lot of crazy things done and yes most would not believe have the sh.. guys got up to.
Below is an extract and I believe this is the same Dave Masson you may be referring to.
Dave Masson, Character and Leader second to none.
A natural, he had everything, good looks, a head on his shoulders, a sportsman and athlete of note and an innate authority. In form four, meaning he still had two full more years of school to do, he was Captain of Matabeleland (province), schools’ in both cricket and rugby. Now isn’t that something really special? Unfortunately he had a wee bit of trouble with authority, and thus never represented Rhodesian schools at either of these disciplines, how sad. “Masson get a haircut.” “No, I am on holiday.” “If you do not get a haircut we will not choose you for Rhodesian schools cricket/rugby.” “OK, don’t choose me then.” See what I mean? Which reminds me, at Plumtree school he was running in the 200 metres wearing his blue shorts (Grey house colours). It was
The 100 metre dash at sports week-end.
being timed to see who made the final heat for sports week – end. Masson is coming around the corner leading the field and into the final straight. His skin tight blue shorts split in the front. Oh, dear Lord, he is not wearing underpants, and his member is slapping between both thighs. Without batting an eyelid or missing a stride or beat Masson shouts out, “don’t look Ma’am.” There was a big turn out it being the final heats, and the masters wives are out in force. They all burst out laughing fit to bust a gut. What I mean is, if it had been any one else, they would of been marched off to the headmasters office for six cuts. Aye the shame o’ it. Do ye see what I mean by a natural and innate authority now? Now his parents are cattle ranchers and a bit short of a few Bob. As another woman was so heard to say at the sports week-end farewell dinner. “Christ Barry (Dave’s Dad), is that your de-mob suit?” Second world war veterans will understand if any are still left alive and we owe them all so much? So Dave was a bit short of pocket money, not that he needed it as he had a foolproof system. Being. On returning from any sporting endeavour being rugby, cricket, or athletics, on the way to his study he would pop his head into the middle dormitory. Whoever he spotted was subjected to, “Babb, two or a coke (Coca Cola)?” Invariably they chose coke as opposed to being beaten two strokes with his cane. “Kinleyside, two or a coke?” Kinleyside replies with two, being another well known schmack. Masson then says, “four or a coke?” And so on and so forth, and when he came back from his bath had a line of cokes on his desk. Do ye see what I mean? Now one evening I was in a foul mood and even though Masson is a few years older he took a shine to me, him and my older brother being best friends. He gets me up to, “48 or a coke?” I say, “48” so he says, “OK come inside” and laughs. He beats me all 48 strokes and when finished, I say, “can I have some more please Sir?” In my best Oliver voice. I learnt something that evening which was, sometimes, one is so angry that one is beyond pain or caring and I finally understood why the Gestapo for example just couldn’t break some people. Of course when Masson returned from his shower he got me up to, “six or a coke” and my reply, “six.” He burst out laughing and just went into his study. A couple of nights later I bought him a coke without any prompting from him and slipped a note under it which read. “Here’s a coke for you with pleasure from Spook’s lily white ass and sometimes you don’t have to threaten people you know?” Damn skunk always winning and in the pound seats.
I bumped into Dave many times after leaving school and his basic character never changed. The things he could make people do
Myself at Dave’s 21st. birthday party.
and get away with himself were legendary. Many of these things I personally never saw but were related back to me. When he was in the Police force doing his National Service, he used to borrow a Land Rover and head off to the Victoria Falls hotel and casino, only getting back in the early hours of the morning. Then he used to go on patrol looking for terrorists dressed in his underpants and more often or not, forgetting to take his FN rifle with him as well. You can bet your bottom dollar that even like this the ‘gooks’ (terrorists), were too frightened to take a pot shot at him. Of course he was never reprimanded for unofficially ‘borrowing’ the Land Rovers either. Just how did he manage to get away with all this? Which again reminds me. When that lunatic and despot Mugabe finally attained power he made it imperative that he rounded up everyone’s weapons. Are you listening America? Dave’s youngest brother, about to attend University in South Africa, buried his in a cache on their ranch. Sadly, one of his labourers reported him, and he was in huge trouble facing a jail sentence. Dave heard about it, and cut short whatever he was doing and went to the authorities and told them his little brother had nothing to do with it and it was him. How typically Dave. So Dave went to jail and his brother went to University. Here is where it gets funny again. They sent him to the Marlborough police station which had a couple of prison cells. Little did they know that during the war years Dave was Superintendent in Charge there. So the new order had retained the old black Police staff being short themselves, which was OK, anything, provided you were not white of course. They were of course delighted to see their old Master and he was getting saluted and received 5 star treatment in his sojourn there. I’ll have the roast beef and three veg glancing at the menu. He pitched up years later at the farm Marsden in Norton to see his old Police mate Neil Wrench whose parents had a splendid home and set up. Neil had organised a tennis, swimming day there followed by a braai (barbecue). Dave Masson pitched while we were playing touch rugby with the girls. As always from the moment he arrived, things livened up. He joined the line with a hearty cry of, “grab a boob, grab a boob.” Laughter, shrieks and gasps, some of the women even fainted in anticipatory bliss.
Dave Masson died in his early forties after succumbing to cancer. Years later I bumped into Lubbe Robinson the old house master at a cricket International and we got to talking about Dave. I was saying that it was such a tragedy he died so young. Lubbe wouldn’t have it and said to me, that Dave ‘lived’ more in his forty odd years on earth than most people would if they lived to be a hundred. That’s what I mean about Characters of Plumtree School, magic people, magic masters (some of them), and magic times. So Dave wherever you are, just, “grab a boob man.”