on a lighter note...

[Wheels]

 

[sgt_zim]

Guess I should have NOTED:

FYI:

For those not in aviation or familiar with helicopters the "Jesus Nut" is the single nut that holds the main rotor to the helicopter.

In essence if the main rotor nut comes off, no auto rotate to the ground, only the Hand of GOD will prevent one's meeting with the Son of GOD, Jesus. Thus the term "Jesus Nut".

The Collective is the lever, much like that of an outboard boat motor, controls the speed and direction / pitch of the rotor blades. Pilots have to Collect All of Their Thoughts, Ensure they have take off clearance from the control tower of the "airport" and know where other aircraft are in relation to them, BEFORE deciding to pull up on the collective....become airborne.

Not humorous, so sorta out of line with this thread...

Helo pilots are voodoo witch doctors, cuz those effing things fly by magic.

I really don't know how they flew single engine helos like the Huey back in the day.

There are 3 main controls that these voodoo witch doctors use to keep from killing themselves, their crew, and their passengers.

There is the collective, located to the left of the pilot's seat. Moving this up or down changes the pitch angle of all rotor blades simultaneously, or collectively. Raise the collective, the pitch angle increases, the helo gains altitude. But increasing the pitch angle increases the torque requirement to the collective on the engine, reducing the amount of torque available to "rudder" pedals. With less torque available to the tail rotor, the bird wants to start turning, so the rudder pedals have to be adjusted. Adjusting the rudder pedals to compensate for this removes torque available to the collective.

While that dance is going on, the purpose of a helo is to move from point A to point B, so let's introduce the collective (the stick in between this witch doctor's legs). The collective changes the direction the mast is facing. Push the collective forward and you actually start moving forward. But as you start moving, you're increasing the amount of air flow over the rotors, increasing the lift you just applied by pulling up on the collective. So now you have to let off on the collective, which "releases" torque to the tail rotor, causing the bird to want to turn again.

Here's where it gets really tricky. The faster the bird flies, the more lift the blades generate, so back off on the collective some more. But it gets even better than that, so I'll introduce you to another witch doctor, the engineers who designed all of this shit stuff. As the helo moves forward, the rotors on one side are moving forward, and thus faster, relative to the rotors that are on other side and moving slower. So these engineers witch doctors figured out a way to sorta break the "collective" pitch angle of the rotors by slightly decreasing the pitch of the blades as they move forward, and I believe slightly increase the pitch on the side that's moving aft.

Any more, the newer helos like Blackhawk have twin turboshaft engines, so all the screwy crap with the torque is ameliorated a bit.

But I swear, they're all voodoo witch doctors. Planes can largely fly themselves. Flying a helicopter takes giant balls and a whole lotta magic.

 

[Divernhunter]

Helos do not fly. They simply beat the air into submission.

 

[Hillbilly Marine]

After 40 years of rotorhead maintenance I have come to several conclusions.

Never trust that the pilot or aircrew have a clue about how the aircraft works (this would be Marine Corps, Navy, Army, and Coast Guard and I would venture to guess the same applies to Army because, Officers)

Only the dirtiest person on the line can fix it yesterday.

Never trust what any maintainer has done without having either good insurance or good QA with more experience than you.

Realize always that all Military aircraft were built and repaired with parts made by the lowest bidder.

Engineers (witch doctors) should be forced to work on the aircraft they design. Just punishment for their idiotic placement of gizmos and whizbangs.

All that said give me a AH-1Z or a UH-1Y if I have to work on the line again. I did the prototype work on them in Pax River in 2002 and without a doubt those are the easiest to repair and service.

 

[Excessexpress]

After 40 years of rotorhead maintenance I have come to several conclusions.

Never trust that the pilot or aircrew have a clue about how the aircraft works (this would be Marine Corps, Navy, Army, and Coast Guard and I would venture to guess the same applies to Army because, Officers)

Only the dirtiest person on the line can fix it yesterday.

Never trust what any maintainer has done without having either good insurance or good QA with more experience than you.

Realize always that all Military aircraft were built and repaired with parts made by the lowest bidder.

Engineers (witch doctors) should be forced to work on the aircraft they design. Just punishment for their idiotic placement of gizmos and whizbangs.

All that said give me a AH-1Z or a UH-1Y if I have to work on the line again. I did the prototype work on them in Pax River in 2002 and without a doubt those are the easiest to repair and service.

I teach my students to establish and foster good relations with their engineers. The best way to get problems resolved is to describe what is happening and let the crew tell you when it is fixed.

Now Avionics is true magic. I firmly believe that if I listened closely, avionics technicians would sound like a Harry Potter script.

If maintainers complain about pilots breaking stuff, point out that they wouldn’t have a job fixing them if we aren’t out there f”#&in them…. It’s the circle of life

 

[Hogpatrol]

List of pilot-reported problems and the solutions the ground crew had for them.

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Left inside main tire almost replaced.

Problem: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Solution: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on back-order.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: DME volume set to more believable level.


List of pilot-reported problems and the solutions the ground crew had for them.

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Left inside main tire almost replaced.

Problem: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Solution: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on back-order.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: DME volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what friction locks are for.

Problem: Suspected crack in windshield.
Solution: Suspect you're right.

Problem: Number 3 engine missing. (pilot lingo meaning one of the engines was not running smoothly)
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem: Aircraft handles funny
Solution: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Problem: Target radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Problem: Mouse in cockpit.
Solution: Cat installed.

Problem: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Solution: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[1911Fan]

 

[BRICKBURN]

View attachment 610060

Do you have the Amazon link??

 

[Ridge Runner]

Not humorous, so sorta out of line with this thread...

Helo pilots are voodoo witch doctors, cuz those effing things fly by magic.

View attachment 610045

I really don't know how they flew single engine helos like the Huey back in the day.

There are 3 main controls that these voodoo witch doctors use to keep from killing themselves, their crew, and their passengers.

There is the collective, located to the left of the pilot's seat. Moving this up or down changes the pitch angle of all rotor blades simultaneously, or collectively. Raise the collective, the pitch angle increases, the helo gains altitude. But increasing the pitch angle increases the torque requirement to the collective on the engine, reducing the amount of torque available to "rudder" pedals. With less torque available to the tail rotor, the bird wants to start turning, so the rudder pedals have to be adjusted. Adjusting the rudder pedals to compensate for this removes torque available to the collective.

While that dance is going on, the purpose of a helo is to move from point A to point B, so let's introduce the collective (the stick in between this witch doctor's legs). The collective changes the direction the mast is facing. Push the collective forward and you actually start moving forward. But as you start moving, you're increasing the amount of air flow over the rotors, increasing the lift you just applied by pulling up on the collective. So now you have to let off on the collective, which "releases" torque to the tail rotor, causing the bird to want to turn again.

Here's where it gets really tricky. The faster the bird flies, the more lift the blades generate, so back off on the collective some more. But it gets even better than that, so I'll introduce you to another witch doctor, the engineers who designed all of this shit stuff. As the helo moves forward, the rotors on one side are moving forward, and thus faster, relative to the rotors that are on other side and moving slower. So these engineers witch doctors figured out a way to sorta break the "collective" pitch angle of the rotors by slightly decreasing the pitch of the blades as they move forward, and I believe slightly increase the pitch on the side that's moving aft.

Any more, the newer helos like Blackhawk have twin turboshaft engines, so all the screwy crap with the torque is ameliorated a bit.

But I swear, they're all voodoo witch doctors. Planes can largely fly themselves. Flying a helicopter takes giant balls and a whole lotta magic.

My thread was meant to be an informational Note for those that aren't familiar with rotary aircraft, so they can get an idea as to what us rotary guys are talking about.

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[Sideshow]

View attachment 606953

Ohoo where can I get one??

 

[Boyd Brooks]

Ohoo where can I get one??

I think they are coming with the same order as the Africahunting.com hats.

 

[Hogpatrol]

From the old radial engine days.

#2 engine seeping oil
#2 engine seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 engines lack normal seepage

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[BSO Dave]

 

[Boyd Brooks]

Just got my deer back from the taxidermy, looks very lifelike!

 

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[JOHN GRENZ]