New member appear to be held in a very untrustworthy light, and long standing members appear to have license to dismiss new members with an elitist attitude that I find a bit off putting.
I only quoted this part of your post because it pushed my buttons the most. I've been a member here on AH for quite sometime. One of the chief reasons is AH in comparison to other similar websites has historically not been full of elitist members and quite welcoming of new members. So it concerns me that you have this impression. I think if you will hang around that your initial impressions will moderate and your opinion will improve. I hope that you will.
Now unfortunately the truth is that AH has to some extent been invaded by scammers. We have a thread dedicated to it in fact if you've not seen it. The natural reaction unfortunately for established members is to throw up the defenses and proceed cautiously (if at all) when the business dealing is with a new guy, whether they be a buyer or seller. It's certainly not fair, but you're unfortunately being held accountable to some extent for the sins committed by others. However unfair that may be, that's just how it is at this point.
I hope you will stick around and participate in the forum. Familiarity in this case does not breed contempt but confidence instead.
I also would encourage you to find ways of working with sellers when you wish to buy an item to establish a clean transaction that is good for both parties. Do this a time or two and you will build your reputation as a stand up gent quickly.
As an example, I recently purchased a M70 in 7x57 caliber. I've been looking for one for quite awhile now. Back around 2013, Winchester made a bunch in their M70 Featherweight line and I bought one for my son. After developing loads with it and shooting it a bunch, I really came to love that rifle and wished I had bought two. But it was too late and finding one has been a bear.
Well a few weeks back now, a M70 Super Grade in the same caliber (of which very few were made) came up for sale here on AH from a new guy. I was immediately interested but my defenses went up immediately and alarms were ringing. The long story made a little shorter, the seller lives in Texas. He worked with me and in the end he arranged to have the rifle taken to a gun shop near Houston where fellow AH member
@Mark Biggerstaff works. Mark confirmed the rifle was as described. I subsequently and immediately sent funds via PayPal to the seller who then released the rifle to Mark who then shipped it to me in Arizona. Both buyer and seller were protected through the process until the sale was finalized.
I think if you will think about ways that protect you and the other party and work with that person, you can make this work for you. You just need to be a little creative. By simply showing your interest in making sure the other party is protected will go a long way to establish a reputation as a solid honest buyer or seller.