Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

[Macclenny]

Redneck's First Drink with Son

While I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink.

Off we went to our local bar which happens to be a couple blocks from the cabin. I got him a Bud Light but he didnt like it so I drank it.

Then I got him a Micholob Ultra and the hard head didnt like it either so I drank it.

I tried several more (Budweiser, Coors, Corona, Angry Orchard, etc.) and the sucker didnt like any of them either. So guess what, I drank every one. Thought, he is a mama's boy I guess.

Finally I decided to try something different and ordered a double Jack & Diet. That didnt work either. Had to drink both of them myself.

As a last ditch effort, I tried a sweet fruity cocktail with one of those little umbrellas in it and be danged if he didnt like it. Down the hatch it went.

By the time I realized that he just wasnt going to be a drinker, I was absolutely wasted and could hardly push the stroller back home!!!

 

[hnterfl]

This hunt is free?

 

[hnterfl]

NUF SAID

 

[duckman90]

When you realize, you have nothing to brag about...

 

[Steve Ausband]

It's great, after all those years of work, finally to have my own designated parking spot in retirement, even if it's just at a little, run-down bar and seafood joint on the island.

 

[gasta]

Eyyy man!!!! really this a rare species of Wartog bird laying in a tree!!!

 

[Bsto270]

Shoot, why not, going for the lamest joke you are guaranteed to still chuckle at...

"What's brown and sticky???"

"... A stick!"

 

[BWH]

Feed the Children!!!!!

 

[opticspecialist]

the picture itself isn't funny, but the story behind it is. monday night I went to visit my boss and the guy pictured (Tony) at his fishing camp in Slidell Louisiana, his camp is in a place called the rigolets, it's a great place to catch speckled trout, which we caught 100 of as well. they have a bit of a hog problem there and my boss tends to throw out corn to bait them in and shoot them to try to control their numbers.

To the main point of the story, it's about 10:30 pm and we are fishing, smoking cigars, they were drinking wine and I was drinking a beer, when boss said, "i'm going to see if anything is moving around the corn" so we keep fishing and he walks back to check the field where he has the corn, camps in this area are elevated so offer a good vantage point. soon after he starts checking with the flir, he whistles at us, so we walk up and it was decided Tony would shoot, as he is a yankee, doesn't get to visit often and whatnot. so the weapon of choice is an AR15 with ATN nightvision scope and suppressor, with 77 grain blackhills tipped gameking ammunition. so i'm spotting with the flir and he shoots, BAM the biggest pig falls legs straight in the air. all is well and it was pretty funny, but after about 2 minutes, i'm still looking through the thermal, the pig started kicking, and I said "he's kicking, put another one in him, shoot that bastard again" but they had already unloaded the rifle and were chatting about it. so the pig runs back in the brush, boss looks at me and says "go get him Jay" so I walk down to the truck and grab my benelli m2 and thumb some buckshot in and grab my spotlight and start walking. they join me after with a couple of flashlights and as I get to the treeline, I heard him grunt and move a little but flop back down. I start fighting my way through thick swamp brush, trying to stay on pig trails so it's easier to navigate. I spot something black and I yell "found your pig Tony" so they start to fight through the brush to check it out, but i noticed a bunch of flys and the big sow was in rigor and smelled worst that it should have. so i yell back "this isn't tony's pig, be careful" so a i'm a little nervous, i start looking around and about 10 yards to my right I see a hump with dried mud, "found it, it's a nice boar" so they walk up and we're checking this guy out, turns out the other pig was shot by Mrs. Boss a few nights before and she thought she had missed. so we're crowded around this boar, who has pretty fat little tusk and weights about 230 lbs and Tony says "you know I went to Germany 3 years trying to get a boar" so boss and I look at each other, I drag said pig into a good picture taking position, make some impromptu trumpet noise and stick a few leaves in my hat and say "Jäger please take a picture with your long sought boar". so we are laughing, taking pictures, telling him "you should have just brought your ass here, we have plenty of pigs"

 

[olecap]

Nothing like having your own portable back-scratcher...! Etosha 2011

 

[Art Lambart II]

After several weeks at sea a pirate returns to port for much needed R&R. The young lady he was with was amazed by his ear ring and asked how much they cost. The pirate responded that's obvious a Buck-an-ear.

 

[duckman90]

Did you say Free hunt?

 

[Mogles]

Not a funny story just a picture of my wife's first handgun harvest. We can't wait to get to South Africa and use the pistols!

 

[duckman90]

A quick link to an Idea that would have changed the world for the better.... Plus who wouldn't want Hippo Bacon?

http://www.wired.com/2013/12/hippopotamus-ranching

 

[duckman90]

Everyone needs one for their collection.

 

[hound_hunter]

Ding-dong.

 

[hound_hunter]

 

[Macclenny]

The Confession
Hi Bob. This is Alan next door. I'm sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you face to face, but I am least telling you now in a text as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night when your not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won't happen again. Please come up with a fee for usage and I will pay you back.

Regards, Alan

The Action
Bob, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home where he poured a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone where he saw he has a subsequent message from his neighbor Alan.

Second Meggage
Hi Bob, this is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo on my last text. I expect you worked it out by now anyway. I'm sure you noticed that my autocorrect changed "Wi-Fi" to "Wife". Technology hey?!? Look forward to grilling out back again soon.

Regards, Alan

 

[Macclenny]

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!!!!

 

[Macclenny]

I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my kids took it.