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[BRICKBURN]

The tree jumped in the way! (I wish you could have seen this buck)

 

[Doyle]

 

[dobber]

Bubba went to Alabama on a football scholarship. He was a good running back, but a poor student.

At graduation day, Bubba didn't have enough credits. But he was... a great football star and the students held a rally and demanded the dean give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the dean agreed if Bubba could answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma.

The one question test was held in the auditorium and the students packed the place. It was standing room only.

The dean was on the stage and told Bubba to come up. The dean had the diploma in his hand and said, "Bubba, if you can answer this question correctly I'll give you your diploma." Bubba said he was ready and the dean asked him the question. "Bubba," he said, "How much is three times seven?"

Bubba looked up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, just pondering the question. The students began chanting, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!"

Then Bubba held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. Bubba said, "I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one."

A hush fell over the auditorium...and then the Alabama students began another chant. "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!

 

[Mekaniks]

 

[jpg]

 

[mrpoindexter]

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

They are efficient. And not very funny.

 

[SherrillPhilip]

 

[Buwanatimbo]

This was a difficult one to load...At least the back half...

 

[Cgswimmer25]

I’ll throw my name in the hat...

 

[JimP]

A big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him, and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel. And if he could locate the bullet hole. he would even tell them what caliber rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument was going on. Then the hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the bet was on.

They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, "Spring Buck." Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .22 rifle." The others could not believe it. He was right, and the argument was even hotter than before. When some started to suggest that he must have peeked, he said that he was prepared to do it again. He would put up all the drinks they had bought before against them buying another round for him.

So they blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and they brought a skin that someone happened to have in their car. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion" and fingering the bullet hole said, "and the rifle was a .308," which of course was right. This, of course, was like throwing fat on the fire, and he had to prove is skills over and over again, every time against a round of drinks.

Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one heck of a shiner. So he said to his wife, "Listen, I know I was drunk last night, but not too drunk to know that I did not fight anyone in that bar. So where did I get this black eye?" His wife replied angrily, "From me, of course."

"But what did I do?" he asked. She replied, "You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and announced in a triumphant tone, 'Skunk, killed with an axe.'"

 

[K-man]

I once met an honest fisherman.

 

[Albert GRANT]

Well the contest closes on my birthday- it would be rather entertaining if I won, and the comedy would come when I explain to my wife that I would now need to go to Romania!

 

[KSWildcat]

Here are a few that are a part of a local business ad on the radio.

If a fly lost his wings, would he be called a walk?

Why is it that when a door is open it is ajar, but when a jar is open it's not a door?

Did you ever wonder what disease cured ham had to begin with?

 

[BJONES]

 

[sgt_zim]

There was once a great argument about exactly which agency did the best job of finding their man: the CIA, the FBI, or the Houston Police Department (I'm former HPD). So they were set upon the task of tracking down a violent rabbit who had last been seen headed into the woods.

The spook set up spy cams and paid off the foxes and placed microphones all over the great wood. To no avail, he could not find the rabbit and declared that the rabbit wasn't in the woods.

Likewise with the FBI agent, who accidentally set half the wood on fire before he too declared there was no rabbit in the woods.

Last, the Houston police officer got his chance. He strolled into the wood non-nonchalantly, and within a couple minutes, there erupted a great commotion, with lots of screeching and shouting and crashing of timbers. A couple minutes later, the Houston officer, half beaten to death himself, bloody and bruised and limping, walks a grizzly bear out of the woods in an arm bar. As the officer with his prisoner neared the group of onlookers, they could just hear the bear saying "Ok, ok, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!!!"

 

[mark-hunter]

Two skunks looked at a deer hunter sneaking through the woods holding a rifle.

- I hope he’s not going to shoot at us, said one skunk.

- The second skunk bowed his head and said, “Let us spray.”

 

[TDC]

Lion attack!

The cub didn't like my wife's shirt.

 

[Rob404]

 

[Rob404]

 

[Rob404]