It really depends on the load... several 10mm factory loads are only slightly hotter than a .40... and I would say are very close/comparable to a .45 ACP in terms of recoil..
If youre talking a full power hand load or one of the 10mm loads that were intentionally manufactured on the "hot" end of the scale.. recoil in the 10mm can be considerably higher (think .45ACP in a magnum variant)..
Similar to the big bore discussion about which calibers produce a "push" vs a "strike" type recoil.. the 10mm when loaded hot can be very snappy and hard on the hand.. but when loaded in the mid range in a larger, heavier pistol like a Delta Elite its very manageable, even pleasurable (IMO) to shoot...