If your looking for a stay at home self defense hand gun a quality high capacity 9mm is what your looking for. If you plan on training a lot with your handgun buy one with an external safety, if not buy a striker fired pistol. If you plan on carrying your hand gun forget the high capacity double stack pistol and buy a quality single stack pistol. The first rule of concealed carry is "Carry a Gun" toting you high capacity 9mm in your purse is not carrying your pistol and is only slightly better than not carrying a gun. The first thing the "Bad Guys" will do is separate you from your purse and now they have your gun. Now that you are carrying a gun you have to be able to shoot it well, the single most important thing to accurately shooting a handgun is the trigger pull, the Glock is a very reliable handgun but their are no words in the English language to describe how bad their trigger pull is. Another consideration is how easy is it to operate the slide, make sure you can easily operate the slide on your handgun, some guns take more grip strength to operate than others. I would recommend two handguns the Walther PPK in .380 (its the gun that James Bond carries) or the Ruger LC9s, both guns are small making them easier for small framed people to grip correctly, concealable and have good triggers.
Many people will disagree with me recommending a 7 shot handgun claiming you need to shoot each attacker multiple times. My reasoning for this is simple, I am no longer a solider and I am not a Law Enforcement Officer or Personal Body Guard, if I am forced to use my firearm in defense of myself or others I will be involved in a shooting not a shootout. Normally the "Bad Guys" flee at the sound of the first gun shot, if they stand and fight your probable in more trouble than your handgun will get you out of. That's my 2 cents, your on the right track looking for a quality handgun, lets us know how your search ends up and welcome to AH.