on a lighter note...

[1911Fan]

View attachment 632754

 

[Hogpatrol]

Mealtime on a long haul flight, the cabin crew discovers that with 400 people on board, there's only 200 meals. Flight attendant gets an idea and announces the problem and if anyone gives up their meal, they can have unlimited liquor for the rest of the flight. Six hours later, there's an announcement that if anyone wants to reconsider the offer, there's 160 meals still remaining.

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[Hogpatrol]

Two rednecks were fishing when one asked the other "If I slept with your wife, would that make us family"? His friend replied, "No, that'd make us even".

 

[Wheels]

 

[cpr0312]

 

[cpr0312]

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[mdwest]

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[1911Fan]

 

[sgt_zim]

BRISBANE, AUS — A local six-year-old identified as Bluey Heeler has gone missing. She was last seen pretending to be a Granny named Janet in front of a house full of Haitian immigrants, say authorities.

The local community has reportedly pointed the finger at the Haitian neighbors because they just moved in next door to the Heeler family and Bluey went missing the very next day. Police have called on the public to remain calm and suggested that it's racist to assume Haitians are responsible just because they are Haitians.

"They eat dogs! I've seen it!" said Doreen, a local Great Pyrenees, and family friend to the Heelers. "You should check their bins! They probably ate her and threw the bones away!"

Meanwhile, Bluey's father Bandit held a televised press conference in which he addressed the alleged kidnappers: "I don't know who you are or what you want," he said. "If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you."

He continued, "If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

Bluey's mother Chili is reportedly out searching the woods every night, looking for any sign of her daughter. "She might just be playing magical statues out there — waiting for someone to come find her..." she said, hopeful.

Anyone with information about her whereabouts is encouraged to contact the Brisbane Police Department.

 

[SaintPanzer]

View attachment 633012

I think you left out the gold bar and the gold leaf...

 

[mdwest]

I think you left out the gold bar and the gold leaf...

2LTs don’t break things… they just lose them lol…

Majors on the other hand…

 

[jpr9954]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]