on a lighter note...

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Must be a step up from candy cigarettes'.

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Old ad in Dallas Morning News Classifieds: For Sale, Husband--comes with waders, a black lab, camo and gun. Pretty good guy, but not home much during hunting season. Make offer.
 
She was sitting in her rocking chair on the porch of the retirement home when a little genie appeared and said, “I’ve decided to grant you three wishes.” The little old lady answered, “Buzz off, you little twerp, I’ve seen all the wise guys I need to in my life.” The genie answered, “Look, I’m not kidding. This is for real. Just try me.” She shrugged and said, “Okay, turn my rocking chair into solid gold.” When, in a puff of smoke, he did it, her interest picked up noticeably. She said, “Turn me into a beautiful young maiden.” Again, in a puff of smoke, he did it. Finally, she said, “Okay, for my third wish turn my cat into a handsome young prince.” In an instant, there stood the young prince, who then turned to her and asked, “Now aren’t you sorry you had me fixed?”
 
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