on a lighter note...

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Looks like Hannibal Lecter may be living in Florida.

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Arizona--heck, you don't even know what a traffic jam IS! Dallas if getting to be a nightmare, because in certain years, scientists have determined that idiots are born in swarms...
Aw, hell. Go to L.A.
 
Stormy Daniels and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day They both met with an angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.



The angel said: "Unfortunately, there's only one space available in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted.”

The angel asked Stormy if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Stormy took off her top and said: "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.”

The angel thanked Stormy, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question.

The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushed it without saying a word.

The Angel immediately said: "Okay, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven.”

Stormy was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?”

“Sorry, Stormy," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair, no matter how big they are.”
 
Grandaughter: "Grandpa, let's go burn down the shed".
Grandpa; "Hold on a second, I'll get the matches".
 

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