on a lighter note...

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A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes of flirting, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It has to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin, not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."

 

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[PARA45]

From the show Hoarders?

 

[sgt_zim]

A mate just sent me this: You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home.
The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.
By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is considered "mentally unstable.
BUT… In Michigan, he'd be called "the last white guy still living in Detroit."
In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector. In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector."
In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food.
In Kansas, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend."
In Montana, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy."
In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate."
In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor."
In North Carolina, Virginia, WV, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, South Carolina and Minnesota he would be called "a deer hunting buddy." AND,OF COURSE,
In Texas, he'd just be "a guy who's a little short on Ammo."

True story.

A few years ago, a good friend was contemplating taking a job in Alaska. He and I hunt together, reload multiple calibers, etc.

He called Canadian customs to find out what the dealio was on transporting guns/ammo through Canada on the way to AK. The customs girl said that he would be limited to 5000 rounds. He asked "Total, or per caliber?"

Said she: "you must be from Texas."

 

[Sabattiboy]

View attachment 489640

A Cuba fix. Castro taught the people a lot.

 

[Sabattiboy]

View attachment 489665

This is an older persons arrangement. You know, when one needs a pit stop before reaching the next floor.

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Sabattiboy]

View attachment 489742

And here I thought the dead only rolled over in their grave,
I wonder if they still have open plots.

 

[Nyati]