Africa At Last

[Elkeater]

This is one of the best right ups ever! Keep it coming! Also I’m pretty envious of your journey thus far.

 

[Hooked Now]

Replying just so I can watch the thread. I've learned something here already. When someone says "please excuse my writing skills" they should be treated with the same regards as the guy who shoes up to the quail hunt in jeans with a beat up .410. You know he's gonna drop birds and OP is laying down a very nice hunt report. If the guy from TX could just learn to use the camera function on his phone for game we'd be all set.

 

[Datchew]

Thank you. Never really tried this writing stuff but with the adventure comes inspiration and it seems to go ok and a little african dust and gin helps it flow. And it makes my nose run.

Trying to do some pics here of the impala scrotum gear shift knob and the dense thorns.

 

[Datchew]

Day 3 – Who hunts a buffalo in a swamp?!

Hyena woke me up a 0400. They sound like an animal feeling sorry for themselves. I guess because they’re so butt ugly. Couldn’t get back to sleep so stumbled out for early coffee.

Departed at standard 0530, breaking the pattern of “half hour earlier each day.” I did not argue against this.

Chatty Cathy had us on the same buffalo as we tracked yesterday. I tried to be respectful in asking (dubiously) whether he truly could tell. He and PH were willing to walk me through it. This one’s rear foot had one half of the hoof that was shorter and turned inward making it easy to identify. So that’s a thing I guess. I squinted my eyes and pursed my lips and nodded slowly as if I now truly grasped this esoteric interpretation of spoor. They bought it.

We tracked old crusty up and over a mountain and through thickets and down the other side, honoring the turd testing rules the whole way. Lots of mud in many areas.
Eventually, we got within approximately 50 yards from them and PH said he could see a horn so I began to get excited. Focused. Only I couldn’t see a damn thing and he could have been making it all up for all I knew. Then the wind swirled and betrayed us and after a short stampede like an old John Wayne movie, the command decision was made to have lunch.

Lunch was a slice of cheese and ham between 2 pieces of wonder bread and 2 hardboiled eggs. My eggs were next to impossible to peel and I ended up chopping it in half and scooping out egg with my knife. PH and Cathy had no such trouble. I begin to suspect that they’re in league together to give me the hard to peel eggs. I’ll keep an eye on them. Literally they sneak around for a living so I find my own suspicious assumption to be reasonable.

Back at the camp for a pitstop, I notice the camp staff housekeeper lady already managed to get clean sheets on the bed and generally sort everything out. God bless her, I’m sure she cussed when she saw all the blood streaks from my scratches. Hopefully she’s good with getting blood out. I add a bigger tip in my mental balance sheet for her.

Out again in the afternoon. There’s a lot of water here. Like a lot. PH says the mountain is springing leaks and they didn’t even need Moses to whack it with a stick because of the high water table. He’s never seen this much water and he’s NOT happy about it because the buffalo now have 6-8 water sources instead of 2-3. Also… it’s creates long, gently flowing streams down the roads which effectively turns the road into a 2-3 mile drinking trough and a mud pit. In some areas I need to have brought my wellingtons. We slog on, determined, and starting to look like swine that have crawled through muck.

We chase the ever elusive quarry late into the evening until sundown and moonrise like tracking feral pigs. Bits of hair on the barbwire trees, mud rubs against thorns and trunks, and each sample of crusty mud is starting to be more and more dry and hard as we go. We’re out of light, we're not gaining on him. Time to hang it up and start back.

Pushing through the thorns, I realize I’m performing triage actively. Protect the eyes, some of the face, the family jewels, and just let the rest go. Ho Lee crap these things like to grab at you.

Eventually, we emerge from the thorns and there is a massive pile of crap steaming before us. PH says "ol boi" must have held it in for quite some time while he was going through the thorns and then let it all out once he got clear. It was like the triceratops scene in the original Jurassic Park but with no Jeff Goldblum (thankfully.)

Impala heart and liver in gravy over toast for dinner appetizer. Fabulous.

Quote of the day: “Now THAT’s a heap of bullshit.” (Not metaphorical)

 

[Zinz]

I begin to suspect that they’re in league together to give me the hard to peel eggs. I’ll keep an eye on them. Literally they sneak around for a living so I find my own suspicious assumption to be reasonable.

That is hilarious!!

Great installment… can’t wait for the next.

Ed Z

 

[Jeffrey Masters]

I can't type for chuckling. I have a hunting report to write from Namibia that is much over due. Have you ever given thought to ghost writing? Have your people get with my people and see what we can work out. Awesome report, I am anxiously awaiting the rest!

 

[Hooked Now]

This has tones of Bill Heavey. And I mean that as a compliment. This guy is invited on my next Africa trip. If nothing else to wolf up all of the heart and liver on toast.

 

[Slaton]

Loving the report. The writing style is wonderful. Cant wait until the next installment.

 

[Slickshooter]

This is such a great write up, I am reading it out loud to my wife and son and enjoying every entry! Keep up the good work and we are diligently waiting for the next report.

 

[Datchew]

You are truly too kind. I'm having fun taking notes and dropping them here.

There's more dead fluffy things coming when I get a min on the laptop.

I am still new to most critters over here and I noticed today the Afrikaans folk named everything in a rudimentary etymology.

It's in this format: type-buck.

Bushbuck
Treebuck
Dirtbuck
Gravelbuck
Waterbuck
Oceanbuck
Blesbuck
Reedbuck
Gemsbuck
Springbuck
Autumnbuck
Happybuck
Grumpybuck
Sleepybuck
Bashfulbuck

You get the idea

 

[SETH RINGER]

You are truly too kind. I'm having fun taking notes and dropping them here.

There's more dead fluffy things coming when I get a min on the laptop.

I am still new to most critters over here and I noticed today the Afrikaans folk named everything in a rudimentary etymology.

It's in this format: type-buck.

Bushbuck
Treebuck
Dirtbuck
Gravelbuck
Waterbuck
Oceanbuck
Blesbuck
Reedbuck
Gemsbuck
Springbuck
Autumnbuck
Happybuck
Grumpybuck
Sleepybuck
Bashfulbuck

You get the idea

WHO'S HAVING MORE FUN THAN YOU? NOOOBODY!

 

[WMU05]

This is A+ material. Keep it up, my friend.