Saturday Jokes

James.Grage

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They've closed a road near where I live in order to repair a collapsed sewer-pipe. The construction workers have put up a sign saying:

ROAD CLOSED

But, since the actual road closure is not apparent until you go around a bend, a lot of drivers go just to see if the road is *really* closed.

After they see that the road really is closed, they start making their way back. Their embarrassment is made worse by another sign right behind the ROAD CLOSED sign, but facing them on their return. The new sign reads:

TOLD YOU SO!


Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.


Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'

Then, little Darrell, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said:

"Well, dufuss, stop clapping!"


My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.

One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."

Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate."
 
Good ones James!:LOL:
 

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Latest profile posts

robi wrote on hoytcanon's profile.
Just moving to DM. Yes, please ask your friend if he knows somebody who might be willing to support a persistent hunt in the snow.
MANKAZANA SAFARIS wrote on Paul Shirek's profile.
Hi Paul,
This is Daniel from Mankazana Safaris.

I saw your post regarding a hunt in Africa. I am sure you have been bombarded with messages and replies from other outfitters, so I will keep this one quick.
I have a feeling we have exactly what you need for a first safari.
If you'd like to hear more, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Yours sincerely,
wheelerdan wrote on ACraig's profile.
If you ever decide to sell this rifle, I will buy it with the dies, bullet, brass, the works. Dan
American marketing tour update!

flights are booked Uber rides confirmed, car hire deposit paid! Hotels booked!

Im getting ready to go but first I have a 3 week photo Safari tour scouting some locations in the Limpopo province for future Photo safari tours! watch this space for awesome updates and footage !!!

Remember ISE Show 8-11 Jan in Denver Colorado!

Then from there I will be traveling by car for over a week
 
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